Welcome to 2010 realism, where no one gives a care in the world about the meaning of a relationship. And when I mean no one I really mean NO ONE. We all know about the celebrities who find adultery cool and infidelity effortless and we also have friends who are currently in painful relationships getting cheated on or who are partaking in cheating ways. This is partly the reason why I believe this is not the season to fall in love, and why I am comfortable on my Singledom Throne. While on my wonderful journey of Singledom, I do live by standards and morals and there are certain things that I just would NOT do under any type of circumstance. I have hit that bump in the road, however. One thing I vowed I never would do has reared its ugly head and my angel and devil has appeared for their first appearance upon my shoulders. Living my life of a single young lady, one of my vows is to never become the assistant in infidelity…well folks, the dilemma of a taken man has presented itself to me.
Something I do NOT condone is cheating. I will not help facilitate cheating matters. I have never, and will never be called the ‘side girl.’ I have the world’s worst guilty conscience and am a very strong believer in karma. Plus I know how it feels to be the naïve girlfriend and I would never wish such hurtful heartache on anyone.
But then came the co-worker. A simple joke turned into countless hypothetical situation conversations. You know the “What ifs…” and the “If I did this, would you do that…” convos. We started playing games to “make the work day go by.” Games like This or That (Kitchen or Bedroom?) and Fill in the Blank (The color of your thongs today are ____). I justified my actions as not wrong because I wasn’t the one doing the asking. Figured since he was asking me the questions, I would feel less guilty & blame couldn’t be put on me. But the more the conversations lasted, the more my mind wondered and I knew if my mind was wondering, his mind was wondering. I eventually let him know that these conversations have to be nipped before I throw morals out the window & tell him meet me at my place after work (almost tempted on a number of different occasions).
But this is not the reason behind this post. I have a deeper question then what is right or wrong. My co-worker seems to believe these conversations we were having, and the thoughts that he is having, and the occasional touching…is NOT categorized in the cheating category. Now please…let us dwell on this.
Cheating implies the breaking of rules. When you decide that you want to be exclusive to one person and announce to the world that you are taken, there are certain things that you cannot do. Telling someone what you would do to them if they had the opportunity on a constant basis, in my book, is cheating. It is only the beginning of a downhill battle. Conversation leads to curiosity. Curiosity leads to happy hour dates after work. Happy hour dates leads to ‘Oh no! I had 1 too many drinks!’ And we all know what happens after alcohol is added to the equation. If you do not want your significant other know what we talk about at work, then the conversations need not be had and I dub you a cheater.
But when do you really cross that line into cheating? Is it okay to have thoughts about being with someone else? Is it okay to tell that person ‘hey…one day I’d like to have sex with you?’ Or does cheating not come into play until the actual act is in play?
Either way, this is the #1 reason why I am sitting mighty high and pretty on my Singledom Throne. ‘Relationship’ is clearly just a fickled word that is thrown around just because people want to say they belong to someone. When they start to grow that old meaning back, you know…the Bill and Claire Huxtable type love/relationship…someone let me know. I’ll put myself back on the market. Maybe.
-Ms. Mfn {that's MUFFIN to you}
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