The L Word

8 letters.

1 meaning.

2 hearts.

combined.

i. love. you.

what do you do when the words you've been waiting to hear are told to you,
....but you didn't respond at all how you'd planned?


Got a Valentine's day card today, a day late, but nonetheless a card that I wasn't expecting.
Definitely wasn't expecting to read WHAT was in the card. 


Guess I should give a little history...
This guy, I've been dealing with him for what seems like an eternity. I've tried numerous times to walk away, but something keeps pulling me back. It's been almost two years of dealing with him & this thing we have. Never a relationship, lots of talks of being in one. I'd never asked a guy to be my boyfriend, it got to that point. He broke that virginity of mine, matter of fact I've asked a few times.  I've been declined each one. He's almost 30, I'm almost 25. I love him and I'm in love with him....until today I never knew he felt the same way. 


Which leads me back to the card.
Handwritten in black ink was the following:

We have been on this "road" a long time, and its bout time we change that. The time will come when we are one, but until then, continue being the Lo I fell in love with.

After reading this NUMEROUS times, here are a few things my wandering mind has conjured up:

1. 1. He admitted he's in love with me, finally
2. 2. Why does he say "its about time we change that" only to immediately say "the time will come when we are one"??
3. 3. How much longer am I expected to wait? An eternity is a mighty long time
4. 4. Why be so cliche and wait until this time of the year to express feelings
5. 5. Kudos for opening up, b/c he NEVER does
6. 6. How will this confession change "us"?

Now these are just a few of the millions of things running across my mind. I sent him a text thanking him for the card. I followed that text with another that simply said: "you do know I over analyze, right?"....his response, a simple "yes". 


So the way the confession was worded was intentional? Was the intention to open a can of worms to get my mind wondering? In due time, these questions will be answered.


UNC is playing right now, so I dare not call ;) (go heels!)


I intentionally thought the day he told me he was in love with me, I'd cry or be in total shock. But my response was "cute". He already knows I love him. No doubts at all. I see myself with him, I'm sure that's mutual. I understand I can't rush life or the way things play out. But I do know that everything happens for a reason. I've stuck around this long, so why throw in the towel now? I hate the comfortable stage aka gray area, but that's just where it is right now. I try to change that, but after a while when you keep pushing the door open and it gets closed in your face, you just wait for the person on the other end to open up.....or you walk away. I'm just waiting for the door to open all the way. This card was the crack. I really do love him, and I'm genuinely in love with him as well. But what's love got to do with it?!?


But I'll end this blog the same way I started it......

8 letters.

1 meaning.

2 hearts.

combined.

i. love. you.